IE3Writing: Lesson 8

6/3/2015

Hi everyone,

We'll be moving onto our next essay next week, which means we're over half way through our course! I can't believe it's already the rainy season!

Conferences:
In today's lesson, we were in the computer lab. You got the chance to discuss your first drafts with me, offer advice to your peer editing partner, and correct your own draft.

Absent Students:
If you couldn't attend today's lesson, make sure to contact me to arrange a time to pick up your first drafts with my comments. You need them this weekend so that you can submit your final drafts on time.

Homework:
1. Final Draft

due on Monday, June 8 before 12:00 noon; email to ntakeda.aogaku@yahoo.com

2. Make a copy of all of your drafts with my comments

bring them to next week's class

3. Blog Comment #6

Blog Question #7:

What were your biggest challenges in writing this essay?
What did you think of the feedback you received on your drafts? Did it help you to write the next section of your essay? Why or why not?

*Write 8-10 sentences.
*Use capitalization, punctuation & spelling correctly.
*Submit by Tuesday, June 9 by 6:00pm.

Final Draft Classification Essay Guidelines
File Size:	98 kb
File Type:	pdf

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16 Comments

IE3W-Midori

6/5/2015 10:28:53 am

I had two big challenges to write this essay. First, it was hard to write general sentences to specific sentences, using effective conjunctions. I had lots of things I wanted to write, so it was hard to organize them. However, I learned that using proper conjunctions can make my essay much better. Nicole told me that compound sentences are also useful to organize logically. I think I can make use of that more in my next essay. Second, it was hard to find a good quotation, especially expert opinions. I always had to keep in mind quotations should be based on sources that are reliable.
The feedback helped me very much because it taught us techniques and important points to improve the next section of our essay. I learned especially that participial constructions are harder to understand than other grammatical constructions.

IE3W-Shusei

6/5/2015 08:58:20 pm

The greatest challenges were to include information from other sites. I had great difficulty to find a good source for my essay. However, I hope now I have sufficient skill to find out sources I want. Next time I will use German sources too if I can. My grammar is pretty bad so I need to improve on that. It was hard to review my essay to find grammar mistakes.
As for feedback, I can always use them. Seeing myself as third person is the hardest thing to do, but with feed backs, it is so much easier. Without them I cannot complete my essay for sure. I need them to see and verify what I did wrong and right.

IE3W-Chinatsu

6/6/2015 10:51:16 am

I had many challenges when I wrote the essay. Summarizing what I want to say was the greatest challenge of all the three. When I wrote body paragraph, my word count was over the limits. It was difficult to write paragraphs within the limits and logically,but I'll try to summarize clearly next time. When I wrote the introduction, at first, my introduction was too general, so I think that if my introduction won't be understood by anyone. By including some examples, I want to write introduction more specific. What I felt challenges were the two above, and next time I write the essay, I should keep in mind these points and I want to write better essay than this time.
The feedback helped me writing bettef essay because feedback includes what I should keep in mind and if I read the advice carefully, I could write the better essay than the first time I submit. Also, feedback taught me not only structures but also grammar mistakes.So next time, based on the feedback, I'll do my best to write my best essay.

IE3W-Fumio

6/6/2015 10:01:28 pm

The biggest challenge for me was about citation. To cite correctly, I needed to check the sample citation paper that you gave us over and over. Typing the period correctly in the citation bracket at the end of the sentence was especially difficult. Moreover, it was difficult to be sure whether I should put the citation or not.

Thus, the feedback with your comment on my drafts was indeed of help. Because then I could see the correct version of my citations. Furthermore, I learnt what to cite and what not to cite by making mistakes several times and getting the feedback from you. Besides, being able to see the mistakes I made and the corrections on a physical paper form made me easier to revise. Thus, I think I will make use of them for the next essay as well.

IE3-Aira

6/7/2015 06:31:58 pm

I had several challenges in my first essay. The biggest challenge for me is to write bibliography. Before learning it in our class, I have never heard of it and couldn't understand why we should write in that formal way. It was quite confusing for me and I had made a great deal of mistkes. Although it was tough for me, I learned a lot .

As for feedback, it was a great help for me. I made plenty of grammatical mistakes so through the feedback, I noticed why I made mistakes. Also, by seperating the types of mistakes into colors,(orange and blue), it was easy to notice and that helped me alot. I beieve I can make use of them in my next essay.

IE3W-WilliamHaruki

6/8/2015 12:27:24 pm

My biggest challenge for writing this essay was choosing a topic that fit the criteria. It was initially rather difficult to think of a topic that was something that could be classified. After I had chosen a topic I had little trouble onwards.
The feedback I recieved was helpful for me to see the errors that I had made and prevent them from appearing in the rest of my essay. If it weren't for this feedback, my essay would have alot more small and simple mistakes that could reduce my score.

IE3W-Soichiro

6/8/2015 12:30:40 pm

What I found most challenging was making the structure of the sentences. I had never written an essay before, so I really had a hard time throughout the essay, but I was able to understand the importance of making convincing sentences. Making a summary was also difficult. Explaining something with short words was a challenge, and I thought I should brush up my skills of putting sentences together.

By recieving the feedback, I was able to look at my essay from an objective point of view. It was very helpful indeed. I could tell that it is important to pause for a moment and look at what I wrote and go on.

IE3W-Kana

6/8/2015 12:43:13 pm

My biggest challenge in writing this essay was so that I wrote it in the funnel organization. When I write, I usually don't think about writing paragraphs so that it will go from general to specific. Even if it was easy writing the first most general sentence and the last most specific sentence, it was really difficult to write the sentences between them so it would connect. The next biggeat challenge for me was to write it so that I wouldn't be copying the sources. It was hard to rewritten sentence so it wouldn't be in the same form, so it took a long time to figure out what kinds of words and phrases I could use.

The feed back I got from my partner wasn't really helpful because there were no corrections done on my paper. I thought there had to be at least one mistake. The feedback I got from Nicole helped me a lot because she told me I needed to rewrite my final thought so that it would really connect to my topic.

IE3W-Takahide

6/8/2015 12:46:23 pm

The challenges I had for the essay was writing sentences in English. It was difficult to think about how to write English so that it had a proper meaning. Also, the essay struncture was new to me. It was challenging to understand each paragraphs, which were the introduction, body paragraphs and the conclusion. By finsishing each class for each section, I was able to deepen my understanding and the importance for writing in a correct structure.

By recieving feedbacks, it really helped to edit my essay. We were able to see what was wrong and how we should write it. Without the feedbacks, we would not know the mistakes and we will keep on making same mistakes. Therefore, it also helped to write the next section of the essay.

IE3-Yuto

6/8/2015 12:46:43 pm

My biggest challenge in writing my first essay was the topic I chose. I definitely should have took more time choosing my topic. Hopefully next time, I would be able to think about my topic more wisely.

As for the peer editing, I thought it was a great idea. Along with the mistakes I could not have found by myself, I was also able to refine part of my conclusion. Next time, it would be nice if this task included a little of my peer's personal thoughts on how the essay can be written. This may help me to see my essay topic from various perspectives.

IE3W Nodoka

6/8/2015 01:16:29 pm

My biggest challenge in writing this essay was to find the cite information. There weren't any experts information that I wanted to use. That made me get stuck on writing the body paragraphs. Also, it was a challeng for me to come up with a good hook statement. It was really hard to come up with a sentence that actually "hook" peoples intrest.
The feed back helped me very much. This is because it is hard for me to find my mistkes after I finish writing my sentence. Also, it made me realise what I left out about the essay structure.

IEW Azusa

6/8/2015 01:46:46 pm

The hardest challenge for me in writing my first essay was that to make my essay interesting. As my topic was about history, many things on site were general statements. To make it interesting, I tried to use things that I didn't know. Also, it was hard for me to cite correct information. Although the topic was about history, informations differed in each web site. Thus, I tried to look into as many sites as possible.

For the feedback, it was very useful in this essay. Also I'm sure that they will be useful in my next essay. By reviewing grammatical and composing mistakes I made, I will try to write better essay next time.

IE3W-Mio

6/8/2015 03:56:07 pm

My biggest challenges in writing my essay were writing a concluding sentences and bibliography. I learned how to conclude but I just couldn't do it in paragraphs. So I asked Nicole during the conference and she wrote one for me and that helped me to write other conclusions. Bibliography was another thing because I had to search for the details in it.
Receiving feedbacks made me realize what was missing and wrong. Those helped me a lot.

IE3W-Aoi

6/8/2015 04:04:05 pm

Writing essay itself was challenge to me. I have written long sentences in English before, but it was my first time to write actual essay in English. The hardest part was to write body paragraphs. Looking at many sources, picking up important points from them, and organizing them from general to specific were new things to do.

Feedbacks that I got for each steps helped me a lot. I am not good at grammar so it was helpful to see what was wrong in my essay. It was also helpful to know how I can write same meanings in different ways. I think I was able to be better at English through writing my first essay.

IE3W- Tomomi

6/8/2015 06:00:25 pm

I had many challenges through writing my essay and including hook statement is one of them. I have never written an essay with it before so it took me a long time to come up with a good phrase. Also, although there were several ways of writing it such as rhetorical questions, many of them were difficult for me to use which made me take time even more.
I also had difficulties writing specific informations. My essay was about Dutch artists and when I tried to find about the artists characteristics, informations differed through each sites. I was hard finding the correct one.

IE3 Luke

6/8/2015 07:04:56 pm

My biggest challenge in writing my essays where organising the body paragraphs. When I first wrote my essay, I was sort of repeating my topic between body paragraph1 and 2. It was also hard for me to write the forms in the essays correctly such as quotes.

Your feed back helped a lot. I was able to understand what I was doing wrong or what had to be added in my essay. With out the feed backs it would've been much harder for me to finish
my essay.

IE3Writing: Lesson 8

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