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IE 3 Core Spring 2013: Lesson 8

6/5/2013

15 Comments

 
Hi everyone,

I can't believe we're having such wonderful weather this week.  I thought it was supposed to be the rainy season!

Peer Editing Discussions:
In the first part of our lesson, you discussed your peer editing activities with your partner.  When you edit/revise your conclusion, you can use your partner's comments.  Also, check corrections I've made in your essay.  You may have made the same errors in your conclusion. 

Conferences:
For the remaining class time, everyone got a chance to meet with me to ask me questions about their first drafts.  Fortunately, there was enough time to talk with everyone!

Discussions: 
In one of today's discussion, one group leader talked about breast cancer.  As promised, here is more information about how you prevent this disease.  Make sure talk to your mothers, sisters, aunts and girlfriends about this, especially since there is not a lot of social awareness in Japanese society.

http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-self-exam

Wizard of Oz Reading:
For the rest of our lesson starting from next week, we'll be learning about literary terms and how to prepare a book report.  We are going to use The Wizard of Oz to help us understanding literary terms.  

For our June 12 lesson, you need to read chapters 1-2; for our June 19 lesson, you need to read chapters 3-6.  

The reading material is available in the IE3 Core Course Information section.  They are also available at the end of today's summary. Make sure you download the readings, complete the required reading, and bring them to our lessons.  

June 12:  Quiz #1 (ch. 1-2)
June 19:  Quiz #2 (ch. 3-6)

Homework:
  1. Discussions
  2. Journal Topic #7:  Tokyo Olympics 2020
  3. Wizard of Oz Readings (chapter 1-2)
  4. Blog Comment #6
  5. Revise/edit your final draft 
  • due Tuesday, June 11 before 12noon!


Blog Question #6:

What advice did your partner give you about your writing in your peer editing discussions?

*Write 8-10 sentences.
*Use capitalization, punctuation & spelling correctly.
*Submit by Wednesday, June 11 by 6:00pm.

Wizard of Oz Readings ch. 1-2
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File Type: pdf
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Wizard of Oz ch. 3-6
File Size: 20576 kb
File Type: pdf
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15 Comments
IE3T-Anna
6/6/2013 04:56:46 pm

In the the peer revising assignment, my partner corrected some of the easy mistakes I had not realized when I was first writing the conclusion. I was glad she caught my mistake because I might not have caught the mistake when I was writing my final draft. My partner did not correct many mistakes in my writing, probably because she was not comfortable correcting someone else's writing. I though that correcting someone else's writing is a good experience, so if we did not know who's piece we are to correct, we would not have to worry if we hurt our friend's feelings. This would make correcting other people's writing much easier for us.

Reply
IE3T-Hideyo
6/7/2013 03:20:16 pm

Peer editing task was a good experience for me. I could hear the advice from my partner before I submit my essey to professor. My partner found some mistakes for me that I couldn't find. I could review my essay once again and correct some grammatical mistakes. In addition, the comment of my essay was also helpful for me. I could recognize my patterns of making a sentence that I always do unconsciously. It was an important awareness for me. I think that the task of finding a mistake and correct them was tough and took much time. I really appreciate my partner's work.

Reply
IE3T-Hitomi
6/7/2013 11:55:43 pm

My partner gave me some important advices. For example, I made a sentence which was hard to understand. My partner tried understanding it and corrected it. Moreover, she corrected a mistake of expression. I sometimes cannot consider the difference between Japanese and English. There was a sentence which I wrote did not suit as an English essay. I could not find that because I thought it was correct. I really thanked her for her great work with my essay and I was glad that I could notice many mistakes.

Reply
IE3T-Shiori
6/8/2013 11:08:47 pm

I was able to know various points through peer editing discussion. My partner found some of my mistakes in my essay. Moreover, she corrected good points of my essay not only my mistakes that I couldn't find. Especially, my partner corrected paraphrase idea in my essay. I tend to use same words in my conclusion essay. Her advice was helpful for me. I knew another thinking about my essay. After that I was able to choose my best sentences. Thanks to her nice work, I finished to write my essay now. Through peer editing discussion, I trust that our own essay's quality getting better.

Reply
IE3T-Madoka
6/9/2013 12:27:05 am

My partner is good at in English, so her peer editing task was correct. she edited many places, for example, grammer, word order, a tense. If I wrote a sentense which is difficult to understand, she took what I wrote to mean and rewrite it into a plain sentense. Moreover, I used some contractions. She told me that when we write an essay, don't use it. Contractions are generally used in a conversation. I didn't know about it until then. I thought asking other people is a very good study for us. I will put this experience to good use, and if I confuse how to write in English, I will try asking my friends.

Reply
IE3T-Eriko
6/9/2013 12:50:11 am

My partner gave me these advices. First, she found that articles are often missed. I prefer to forget about articles. Also, it was difficult for me to choose an article. Second, she pointed out that my sentences were short. She advised me to make them longer to be easy to understand. These advices became helpful in my writing. I found that I had to be more careful about these points when I write an essay.

Reply
IE3T-Miki
6/10/2013 12:29:34 am

In peer editing discussion, my partner let me know some mistakes, and she gave me many good advices. For example, she let me know that I sometimes use same words and proposed other expression. Before the discussion, I couldn't notice that I use same words sometimes. Owing to her advice, I came to be attentive to my tending to use same words. I realized that peer editing task and discussion are very instructive because we can know another person's view about our writings. I knew the importance of another person's advice again.

Reply
IE3T-Asami
6/10/2013 12:55:27 am

I could notice some mistakes and important things for writing my essay by my partner's advice. I should be careful about tense because there was a sentence with wrong verb tense. Moreover, I put a preposition that wasn't needed. Therefore I have to study which prepositions can use with verb as the idiom. My partner pointed out the need to write my body paragraph 3. It was a big problem for my essay and I must add it clearly. I could understand what kind of mistakes I am apt to make thanks to my partner. Indeed, I try to correct errors and keep my partner's advice in mind for writing my essay.

Reply
IE3T-Chika
6/10/2013 12:23:58 pm

My partner gave me three advices. First, my essay had no summary of Body paragraph 3. I had not found that completely before she pointed out. Second is that, I had many plural mistakes. I concentrated on the composition, so I did not care about details. Third is the wrong word. I used "in addition" between two semtences in one summary. She told me it seemd like two summaries, and I eraced them. They were very helpful advices for my essay.

Reply
IE3T-Nao
6/10/2013 02:49:41 pm

My peer editing partner indicated some mistakes. I made a lot of careless mistakes. I used wrong tence and pl. It's easy to correct these and improve a composition. My partner rewrite my sentence to clear and simple one. My sentence was not interesting and made reader bored. I could write more attractive sentence referring to my partner's indication. Thanks to my partner I could notice my mistakes and I want to continue peer editing.

Reply
IE3-Konomi
6/10/2013 03:04:07 pm

Peer editing was great opportunity for me. My partner told me a few mistakes that I did not notice. Especially she told me a grammar mistakes. By that things, I could notice which part of grammar I do not understand. Also my partner found a mistake of sentence. I did not know how to explain at that sentence but she told me a good way. It was really helpful for me. Her comment was frank and it was good for my sake.

Reply
IE3T-Misaki
6/10/2013 03:10:43 pm

My partner corrected mistakes of my essay and some advices. She told me that my essay did not have summary of body paragraph 2 and 3. She found my word mistakes that I did not be aware. I made mistakes to use wrong words. Also, She gave me advice entire summary of my essay. I did not know that when I wrote my essay. I appreciate her to edit my first draft. The peer editing discussion is good opportunity for me.

Reply
IE-3 Natsumi
6/10/2013 03:59:00 pm

The most useful comments on my first draft was what information I should write to be more clearly. I couldn't notice the lack of the information. Also the information was not sure. For example, people's name. I wrote about just a woman, but I had to write her full name because the information is not clear. It is essential for me to improve my essay, so it is helpful. I'll care about writing the detail and where the information comes from next time.

Reply
IE-3 Wakako
6/10/2013 04:14:16 pm

I was working with Eriko on peer editing, and she gave me useful advice. Most of them was grammatical mistakes like spelling or capiltalization. I thought my English skill is too poor to write essay neither grammatical and content constructing skills. I used to study English harder in my junior college life, but now I have no enough time to study it. So, I think I need to make more time to engage in studying English.

Reply
IE3T- Yuri W
6/10/2013 06:37:29 pm

I was adviced two things. One is "Paying attention to grammar" and the other one is "Not to write the summary of body paragraph 1 too long". First, it is exact that I should pay attention to grammar because I sometimes make mistake even when I speak. It is my best problem, so I have to study again. Next, it is true that I wrote body paragraph 1's summary longly. When I was writing it, I couldn't find where to be ended. I think that is why I got mistake. It was finished that we write an essay but next time, for example Aademic writing class next turm, I should focus on these things especially grammar.

Reply



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