AW Lesson 9: Conclusion

11/12/2015

Hi everyone,

Can you believe it? We have now finished our entire first draft of our research papers! The most difficult part of our course in now over.

Concluding Paragraph:
In today's lesson, we looked at the different parts of a concluding paragraph: thesis restatement, body paragraph summaries and a final thought. The most important sentence will be your final thought; you want to leave the reader with a strong impression so that he/she remembers your essay. For your final thought, you can use the following types of sentences:
a. prediction
b. recommendation
c. rhetorical question
d. quotation

Homework:

Complete your Concluding Paragraph
Email your entire 1st draft by Tuesday, November 17 by 12:00 noon to ntakeda.aogaku@yahoo.com
Upload your first draft to the Aogaku database.
Print out two copies of your first draft and bring them to our next lesson.
Blog Post #5

Blog Question #7:

How do you feel after writing your research paper? What were some difficulties you had with your essay?
Was my feedback useful on your drafts? Give examples.

Write 10-12 sentences.
Use capitalization, punctuation & spelling correctly.
Submit by Wed., November 18 by 6:00pm

18 Comments

AW-Shinji

11/16/2015 08:51:34 am

Q1.

Firstly, I found it difficult to write essay using valid and credible information. These days we can easily find a lot of related materials on the Internet. However, there are a numerous fake or biased ones as well. We need to have enough knowledge in order not to be deceived by false information. Also, I felt the importance of the awareness of the plagiarism. It has become really important nowadays. Recently, even college professors are accused of stealing other's thesis. Therefore, learning how to write proper essay was quite useful to me.

Q2.

Your feedback really helped me to write proper essay and understand how to construct persuasive opinions. Since I had never had the lesson you gave me, this experience improved not only my English composition skills, but also the way of thinking. Thank you.

AW-Akimitsu

11/16/2015 05:29:15 pm

Q1, After writing my research paper, I think my writing skill is improved definitely. There are some reason. First, I could know some rule of English writing I did not know before take this class. For example, to use Romanji and Italic font, the way of seaching cite and quotation, and making bibliography and so on. I was not taught these information in my IE writing1 to 3. Next, this class has homework every week, so I must make some essay. In my IE writing homework about writing essay was not every week. Because the oppotunity of writing essay is increased, I have to think about writing essay. This chance was good for my writing skill.

Q2, Your feedback helped me, I think. I made many mistakes about writing quotation, example and spelling or plural. Your feedback told me some instance to writing them. It helped me many times.

Nami

11/16/2015 07:23:57 pm

After writing my research paper I feel really relieved. I never thought I could be able to write such a long paper. I'm really a bad writer so I always hated to write papers. However, this time I always felt this feeling of fulfillment and that pushed me to keep on writing. Each time I send my parts of the paper it felt so good. Next time I'm writing a paper I think it will be easier for me to write it.

Your feedbacks were always positive and cheered me up. I really like the way you found good parts of my paper not just the bad parts. I also think it was impossible for me to divide my paper into 3 body parts without your help. When I was looking on the internet I was lost how to separate it into two stages. Thank you very much for supporting me.

AW-Saeko

11/16/2015 09:34:40 pm

Q1.
After I wrote my research paper, I feel a sense of fulfillment. I didn't have confidence to finish writing it at first, but I wrote it per each part, so I could think each part more deeply. I had some difficulties on my research paper. First of all, a structure. My paper was comparion between Japanese and Americans,so it was easier for reader to understand that the first half of a paragraph is about Japanese and the second half of it about Americans. However, I wrote them with mix, so my paper wasn't clear what I want to tell. Second is paraphrasing. To use paraphrasing was first experience for me. Particularly, It was difficult to find synonyms.

Q2.
I think your feedback was very useful for me. You were not only to find my mistakes but also provide an alternative sentenses. Furthermore, you always wrote comments at the end of paper for example, "For quotes that are facts, you need to paraphrase them." It was your suggestions, but, after that, you wrote "good writing!" You always found good points on my paper, so I was encouraged by your messages. Thank you.

AW-Mayu

11/17/2015 01:29:27 am

Hi Nicole,

1. I was so relieved after writing my research paper. Before I started writing it, I was worried about it so much. This was because the whole length of it was very long and it had really specific content. So I had thought that I could not do such difficult task. But now, I could finish my writing. I think I could improve my English skills. While writing my essay, I found it difficult to find and use trustworthy sources. I had to distinguish such sources from improper sources. Also, in-text citation or paraphrasing were difficult for me because this course was the first time for me to learn such ways of writing. But I'm glad to learn those things through every weeks' classes.

2. Your feedback was really helpful for me when I writing my research paper. You found out many mistakes like forgetting to write conclusion or analysis of quote, and also mistakes of grammar in my paper. You also wrote another good expressions or ways of writing. So I could notice that there were better ways of writing and also made use of it when I wrote my research paper. Moreover, there were comments like "Very good!" or "This is great!" in my paper. I was pleased every time I read these kinds of comments. So thank you for your feedback.

Thanks,
Mayu

AW-Nanami

11/17/2015 07:20:20 am

1. It was difficult and needed a lot of effort to write my research paper by the schedule, but it was worth it when I saw my completed paper. I was writing it longer than I thought it would be. I felt really accomplished. Writing my concluding sentence was the most difficult part. I wanted it to be more creative, but I couldn't think of my best.

2. Your comments really helped me motivate myself to write a better research paper. It made me much more comfortable of what I have been writing. Also, it made me realize that I tend to use my punctuation incorrectly. My writing skills may have improved because of your feedback. Thank you!

AW-Kana

11/17/2015 06:07:35 pm

Hi Nicole,

1. Right now, I feel very happy because I have put an effort to this paper. Also, I am very proud of myself. It was difficult for me to write this paper because it was my first time to write this kind of paper with specific structure. I wrote my paper about the film so I had to watch it few times to find the quote and I also had to read books too. It was hard, but I wrote my paper about something that I like and after finishing my paper, I like these two films more so I thought I had chosen a good topic for myself. Also, it was my first time to do in-text citation and paraphrasing so that was one of the difficult part, but I am sure that this experience will help me to write research paper in the future.

2. Your comments helped me a lot. You gave me specific advice, so it was much easier for me to fix my paper. Also, your comments were helpful. When you fixed my Body Paragraph#1, you gave me advice to introduce my quote before I write it. So, I did it after that and I felt it made my paper much easier to read. Your positive comments like "great!" or "good work!" encouraged me so I really want to appreciate for those comments.

Thanks,
Kana

AW- Natsumi

11/17/2015 07:10:36 pm

Hello, Nicole

1.The most difficult part for me was direct-quote. I was originally interested in cross-cultural communication and the difference in the expression between each culture. However, after I choose my topic and started to search for the references, I found there was a few which was directly related to my topic. So it took me some hours to find good quotation and managed to connect to my words. Next, I made lots of mistakes about the definite and indefinite article. Also there were singular and plural errors in my paper. I think I made the same mistakes throughout, so my corrected paper was full of red corrections of those grammatical mistakes. Furthermore, to consider the structure was hard for me. It was the first time that I wrote the research essay: the logical passages. I had to carefully think the composition.

2.Of course, yes! I said that it was my first research essay so I did not know how to start or how to quote. I made lots of mistakes but you corrected each of them with detailed advice and comment. Thanks to it, I could notice why this phrase did not work: both content and grammatical sides. Your feedback greatly helped my understanding and improving the skill to write essay. Also you added compliment at the end of the paper, which was really encouraging. The evaluation on a scale of one to ten was good for knowing my progress.

Thanks,

Natsumi

AW-Nagisa

11/17/2015 07:56:58 pm

Hi, Nicole

Q1
How do you feel after writing your research paper? What were some difficulties you had with your essay?

It was a first time to write such a long paper in English, so there were much knowledge that I knew for the first time. A teacher told us how to write a paper specifically. For example, she told us how to quote, how to summarize, or how to write a bibliography. I could understand their rules well because she told us very well, but I could not use them in writing my own research paper well. But I think I have no choice but to write a paper many times, so I will write again and again from now on.
Also my topic was a literature, so I had to quote two novels definitely, but these books are so long, and it was so difficult to choose sentences that fit to quote. I thought it is a little difficult to write a research paper of English literature in English for Japanese students.

Q2
Was my feedback useful on your drafts? Give examples.

Yes, your feedback was so useful because I made a mistake about a construction so much. Especially when I wrote a first paragraph. At first I wrote sentences in Japanese style, but you pointed out this style is not correct when I write a paper in English.
Also I often made a mistake about what I wrote in detail. For example, I wanted to write about a capitalism, but I wrote about a colonialism. I wouldn’t notice the mistake if you didn’t point it.

Thanks,
Nagisa

AW-Asa

11/17/2015 08:27:35 pm

Q1
Before I write the research paper, I thought it would be difficut and pretty challenging for me. However, since I wrote step by step and little by little, it was actually easier than I expected. It would be a lot harder if I had to write at once. One difficult thing that I had to face is related to my topic that I chose. I wrote about the process of the first language acquisition. It was kind of complicated topic, and thus, was hard writing. Also, writing without using the first person was difficult for me.

Q2
Your comments helped me a lot. I would not be able to fix and improve my essay without your comments. Because of your helpful comments, I knew what I needed to change, or not to change about my essay.

AW-Natsuki

11/17/2015 08:37:20 pm

Hi, Nicole

1.After writing you research paper, i'm sure that writing step by step is the best way I've ever experienced. Writing step by step means that we had much homework every week so it was hard for me. But through this way, we can write our long paper deliberately and take care about each one part very well. Moreover, my friend said she's writing BP#1, however, we've finished! I cannot believe that we finished writing such a long paper. While, I changed my topic in the middle of writing. So it was difficult to reset a topic and write an outline.

2. Your advice really helped and improved my research paper. Through your comment, it was easy to understand what's the wrong point of my paper. Furthermore, your advice was acceptable and appropriate. When I use quote, you pointed out that one of them is not good quote because it was too prejudiced. At that time, I realized the author might have bias. I could not have noticed that without your comment.

AW-Rika

11/17/2015 10:32:51 pm

Hi Nicole,

Before this class, I'd never written a research paper. The sample essay looked really long so I was not sure if I would be able to write that much. However by writing every week, it didn't feel like I'd written a 1500words essay.

You're comments were very helpful. By receiving corrections each week, I didn't have to make changes to the whole essay.

Thanks, Rika

AW-Kanako

11/17/2015 11:00:13 pm

Hi Nicole.

1. I feel like loading off my mind. I couldn't imagine what would be like to write a 1500-words research paper. Also when I got sample research paper I was nervous because it was longer than I had expected. I felt anxiety so much at every class, but thanks to a way of step-by-step I managed to complete my research paper. It was such a tough work, but I'm filled with sense of accomplishment.

2. I can't thank enough to your feedback. I haven't written such a long research paper even in Japanese, therefore I couldn't see the words or structures I used were correct. Moreover you suggested another way of expressing about my theme, so I found lots of new points of view. When I got high points from you, I was really motivated.

AWーKazuna

11/17/2015 11:07:30 pm

I felt great accomplishment after writing research paper. Every week, I had very hard tasks in Academic Writing. Therefore, I was very happy when I finished. However, I have some worries. First thing is words count because I had only 1080 words. I think I need more words. Another was content of my paper. I think my paper do not have critical content a little bit. Still I was helped a lot by teachers feed back when my hand stopped. Teacher's feedback gave me a way to complete my paper. So I am so grateful to you.

AW-Yoko

11/18/2015 12:11:34 am

Hello, Nicole.

1. After writing my research paper, I feel that I can write the beat paper ever. All this time, I didn’t write an outline or can’t use citations effectively in order to attract readers and I always bothered about that my research paper was not organized. However, this time, I learned the importance of structure and coherence. Of course, it was so difficult for me to find resources and prepare an outline. It took me a lot of time too. At first, I thought writing an outline was not so difficult, but it was really wrong idea. However, I feel very happy now because the difficulties helped me write logical research paper.

2. I think your feedback is really useful because I could reflect your advices on my research paper immediately. I could learn not only grammar mistakes but also new things I didn’t realize like biased opinions, repeating the same ideas or not using omissions on research paper. Your feedback always encouraged me to write my paper better. Thank you very much for your help.

AW-Taiki

11/18/2015 12:23:41 am

HI, Nicole.

Q1. I feel a sense of achievement very strongly. However, I also feel a little bit shocked. This is because I found some mistakes after submitting my draft1 to you. For example, I forgot to add the conjunction "if" on the last sentence although I mistook to erase it. That was very shocking, but I am happy to finish the most hard part of this course. I am looking forward to doing new part next class.

Q2. Indeed, your feedback was really useful to write correct English on my essay. For example, you change many errors into correct words. In addition, you wrote not only abbreviations to know what errors are, but also sentences to show how to rewrite my incorrect sentences. Thank you very much.

AW-Ayaka

11/18/2015 12:31:08 am

1. I'm surprised that I have finished to write my research paper already. I struggled with in-text citation. It was difficult to pick out suitable sentences from some novels, and use them in paragraphs with explanations to show the examples of my writing. Also always I have a lot of trouble with grammar and word choice when I write. Moreover, to summarize and paraphrase with synonyms was difficult for me.

2. Your feedback was really useful for my draft. It was the first time to write such a long paper, and I didn't know how I should write it. Therefore, I had many mistakes in my BP #1 and 2. It was hard for me to write literature paper, and use quotes from the novels. However, I could rewrite them with your comprehensible advises. Thanks to your feedback, I could write whole my draft.

AW-Yuya

11/18/2015 01:00:31 am

Q1 　To be honest, I did not like writing essay like this, because I am not good at writing. It was really hard for me to write more than 1000words, but it seems that I can get better writing essays. I learned that doing little by little is important when writing an essay.
Q2 I was really helped by the advise you gave. Since I did not have any cridibility on writing, the advice is really helpful for me. Thank you very much.

AW Lesson 9: Conclusion

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