AW Lesson 11: Conferences 1

11/28/2015

Hi everyone,

Just two more weeks, and you'll be finished your research paper. You must be relieved!!

Peer Editing Discussions:
In the first part of our lesson, you discussed your peer editing activities with your partner. When you edit/revise your conclusion, you can use your partner's comments. Also, check corrections I've made in your research paper. You may have made the same errors in your conclusion.

Conferences:
For our lesson next week, I'll talk to the remaining students about your drafts. Make sure you prepare your questions because I'll only have about 5 minutes to talk with you.

Computer Room for Dec. 3:
For our conferences, we'll be in the computer room 217, so remember to bring a USB with your draft on it.

Next Week's Lesson:
In next week's lesson, you'll get the guidelines for the Final Draft, and I'll give you information about our course test on December 10.

Homework:

Blog Comment #9
Conference preparation (group 2)
Revise/edit your draft

Blog Question #9:

What advice did your partner give you about your writing in your peer editing discussions?

*Write 10-12 sentences.
*Use capitalization, punctuation & spelling correctly.
*Submit by Wednesday, December 2 by 6:00pm.

13 Comments

AW-Natsumi

11/30/2015 11:56:22 pm

Hi, Nicole

What a nice picture of a Christmas tree! Fir tree with snow is very Christmas-like scenery.

Q1. The advice which my partner gave was to give more specific example. Since my essay was the comparison of Japanese and Americans, I had to explain both of them in my conclusion. At first I did not write the details in Japanese case so much and my partner said I should add explanation. Or not write those for both; anyway to arrange the same length and contents. My partner also told me that my final thought was a little vague. This was an apt remark: for me, thinking the final thought was most difficult task. It had to be interesting, catching reader’s attention and, simple sentences….. I wondered but I could not hit upon a good one and just wrote a typical sentences. My partner, Kanako gave me some appropriate advice, and explained them clearly. She also complimented the good points of my essay which was so delight. Revising my conclusion by her advice, it got better than previous one.

Thanks.
Natsumi

AW-Nanami

12/1/2015 06:32:49 am

My partner Mayu told me that my paragraph was logically organized and had good points. She also said that the use of transitions were good and the final thought was interesting. Those advices made me very confident of my research paper.
She told me that sometimes my sentences are too long. I never realized that, so I was very glad to hear that from her. It's very useful for my writing to go on another level. She also told me that I had some grammatical errors. Plural and verb tense were the main mistakes. I realize that, and I'm doing my best at improving it now. I hope my grammatical skills are getting better from the first day of this class.

AW-Mayu

12/1/2015 06:35:39 pm

Hi Nicole,

My partner gave me a lot of advice. First, she said about good points. According to her, my concluding paragraph was logically organized and also there were no irrelevant sentences. In addition to this, she told me that sentences were good amount. There were also some points which I should improve. She said that there should be a thesis restatement instead of writing the thesis statement again. Also, she tell me that I should change and revise some transitions. I couldn't realize these kinds of mistakes until she pointed them out. So I'm grateful to her for her corrections and comments. I have revised my research paper by referring her advice, and I think it became better compared to my previous research paper.

Thanks,
Mayu

AW-Kana

12/1/2015 07:17:00 pm

Hi Nicole,

My partner gave me a lot of advice. First of all, he told me that my thesis statement was well restated. Also, he told me that he liked my last sentence. He said that my paper is well organized and my structure does not have a big problem. But, he said that I have to make more description about each body paragraphs. I only wrote one sentence for each body paragraph, so I will add more to it. He had also found some grammar mistakes that I did not recognize. I thought that after revising and editing my paper according to him, it is much better and easier to read. Now, I’ve got an idea of how to revise and edit, so I want to check my paper again. Lastly, I really want to appreciate my partner that he had used his time to make my research paper better with useful advices.

Thanks,
Kana

AW-Saeko

12/1/2015 07:18:26 pm

Hi Nicole,

My partner, Nagisa, indicated some mistakes. Some of them, corrections of grammer mistakes were very useful for me. I could find my habit on writing. My weak points on writing are plural, conjunction and connect. Therefore, I want to pay attention to them when I write another research papars.
As for revision comments, I felt there was a misunderstandings between what I wanted to tell and interpretations of the reader in conclusion. Therefore, we discussed both interpretations each other.
Nicole prepared space to write good points and bad points on our research paper, so I could know positive points on my essay not revisions. They encouraged me about my writing. I hope I will finish my research paper with satisfaction. For that, I want to keep on improving my paper from now.

Thanks,
Saeko

AW-Kanako

12/1/2015 09:53:00 pm

Hi Nicole.

Last week my partner gave me really helpful advice.
Basically my paper didn't have enough words, so she told me that I had better explain more about each body paragraphs. Also, this is directly related to numbers of words, I cut too much sentences and detailed explanations. I had overthought that repeating words or sentences which have similar meanings is not good. However this time it was too much.
I and my partner wondered how should we end our paper, how can the last sentences wow readers. I haven't find the answer yet.

Thanks.
Kanako

AW-Taiki

12/1/2015 10:23:27 pm

Hi, Nicole.

My partner was Misa. She advised me that I should pay more attention to plural mistakes. I am poor at judging whether "s" is needed. Therefore, you also corrected my research paper with regard to pluralization many times. I wanted to be better at it. In addition, she told me to cut a part of my final thought. In fact, I wrote two lines which are similar to each other as my final thought. Therefore, she judged that one of the two was not needed. Finally, she pointed out my simple mistakes. Actually, I finished my concluding part, being about to sleep. I am grateful that she looked over my research paper and corrected my mistakes.

AW-Nagisa

12/1/2015 11:53:55 pm

Mainly, I was advised by my partner about a construction of a concluding paragraph, especially It was useful that the summary of body paragraph 1 was a little shorter than the other summaries. In the summary, I wrote that it is different between Robinson Crusoe and Gulliver’s Travels whether the location of the settings exists in this world or not. But I should have written about the number of settings are in one novel, too, because I wrote that topic in detail in BP#3. I could find the mistake due to my partner who check my paragraph carefully. Also, I thought it is very important that it has a consistency in a paper again through doing a peer editing task.

AWーKazuna

12/2/2015 12:14:07 am

My partner, Kotoe gave me a lot of good advice and information. For example, she told me proper word for transition. And also she found my mistakes and revise paradox of my research paper by reading whole my paper. She contributed to my paper. I realized a thing thorough the peer editing. It is that only one side viewing is not enough. This means that if a person finished his paper perfectly alone, that work may not be perfect one because person couldn't, see his work by some sides. Therefore other's help is necessary. Partner should find writer's mistakes and tells him. This is very efficient way when we wrote something. To make partner means that everyone has chance to have hint for other person. I really think this process is much great.

Thanks,
Kazuna

AW-Ayaka

12/2/2015 12:26:40 am

Hello Nicole,

My partner, Natsuki, gave me some advises. At first, she said that it was hard to find my mistakes. She said that my conclusion was logically organized. However, there were a lot of grammatical errors in my conclusion. Also she told me that my final thought was too general. I expected that because it is difficult to write final thought, and I wasn't confident about it. Moreover she referred to the number of words. She said that I should write more in summaries of body paragraphs. I'll edit and revise my conclusion with her advises.

AW-Misa

12/2/2015 12:56:04 am

My partner, Taiki, gave me a few advices. In my research paper, there're little many gramar mistakes. If I take care of it, my paper become better. I often make mistakes of the form of noun. To understand whether the word becomes plural form or not. The other advice was about my final thought. It wasn't interesting, he said. He gave me such advice that it's good to use sayings and so on. I think so, too. He said my summary was good, so I try to write easier and more interesting print.

AW-Natsuki

12/2/2015 01:44:12 am

Hi, Nicole,
I apologize for being late.

First, I used same conjunctions, such as "and", "so" and "but". I must be more careful not to use them too many times. Moreover, I have to change my thesis restatement because it was difficult to understand little bit. However, Ayaka, my partner, said my conclusion is well organized and easy to read. I was glad to hear that.

Thanks,
Natsuki

AW-Shinji

12/2/2015 07:14:26 am

I am so sorry for my late posting.
Unfortunately, my partner was absent last class.
Therefore, we could not review mutual essays.
However, I read my partner's journal many time for
amending and found many efficient expressions and
the useful ways to show opinions. For One thing,
his prominent methods to explain the language differences are quite clear and persuasive. by reviewing his texts, I could learn about what kind of essay would be good for readers. This activity really helps me to understand the benefits of reviewing others' writings.

AW Lesson 11: Conferences 1

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