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Hi everyone, I can't believe how cold it's been this week! I sure wish all this rain would stop! Body Paragraphs: We focused on the type of organization you'll have to use in your body paragraphs: funnel organization. This means that information is arranged in this way: a. general --> topic sentence with subtopic b. less general --> supporting ideas c. specific --> details We also learned about the different types of details that you can use in your body paragraph: a. expert opinions b. statistics c. descriptions d. facts Keep in mind that descriptions and facts over overlap with each other. Many writers often use facts in their descriptions. Outlines: We also looked at how to prepare an outline. For your outlines, you need to include: a. Topic sentences (in sentence-form) b: supporting ideas (two for each body paragraph) c. details (3-4 details for each supporting idea). Remember that you can use note-form for your supporting ideas and details. You don't have to use sentence-form. Introductions: For the last part of our lesson, I returned your introduction with my comments. Make sure you start correcting your writing every week. In this way, you'll have less work to do when you have to submit your entire research paper. If you were not in class, you will have to get your introduction in next week's class. Homework: 1. Blog Comment #4 2. Research Paper Outline
Blog Question #4: Review my comments on your Introduction. What three points (e.g. structure, grammar, etc.) do you need to pay attention to when you write body paragraph #1?
18 Comments
AW-Rina.S
10/26/2013 11:49:52 pm
In my introduction, I have a lot of useless words and sentences. Also, there are no statistics that prove my general sentences, so I will use statistics in my body paragraphs. I put a quotation in my introduction and thought direct quotes and paraphrases shohuld be bold, but it might be mistakes. I want to learn about how to write a quotation in this class. Next writing, I'm going to reduce my grammar mistakes and make my sentences simpler.
AW-Keita
10/27/2013 04:17:17 pm
In my paper, I wrote too specific things for introduction. And also there were not a summary of how British and American English have followed a different way while once they were same language. Moreover, I must follow a style which is instructed by my AW class because I didn't follow the style in some points. So, I am going to realize and use "funnel organization" deeply and mind following the right style hard. And I will explore more informations about British and American English's history and reflect its results in my body paragraph #1.
AW-Naoko
10/27/2013 04:28:28 pm
In my introduction, there are theree point to pay attention. The first and the second points are about grammar. The first problem is use proper adverb. For example, I learned "completely" is better than "totally" in fornal paper. The second grammatical ploblem is how to use colon and semicolon. It is difficult for me to judge which one is suitable, but I should take care. The last point is about in-text citation. We will learn about it, so I'm going to try hard in the class.
AW-Kyosuke
10/27/2013 04:28:43 pm
I was so happy to get good evaluation for my introduction. However, when I write body paragraphs, I have to pay attention to three points: the position of adverb, subject-verb agreement, and especially voice. I tend to put adverbs in false position, so I’ll have to be more careful about it. Also, I need to be careful about subject-verb agreement. I make some mistakes like “he work hard.” That’s why I thought I have to pay attention to it. Finally, what I have to pay attention to more than anything else is the voice. I used both “you” and “we” as the voice in introduction, so I’ll have to be careful not to use both of that and choose either. I’ll pay attention to those three points when I write body paragraphs.
AW-Yukis
10/27/2013 10:55:12 pm
First of all, I should have thought carefully of the order of the information. It was difficult to arrange the information general to specific because I already know about the topic well. I need to stand in other’s shoes. Secondly, choice of article is my weak point. I always wonder when there is no “the” nor “a” in front of a noun. Finally, simplicity is what I should learn. There is a redundant word in my sentence sometimes, so simple English is needed for me. Then, my English would be easy to understand.
AW-Daiki
10/28/2013 04:54:10 pm
When I write my body paragraph#1, first af all I have to pay attention to prepositions. There were many mistakes of prepositions in my introduction, so I need to use them properly. Secondly, I have to pay attention to the order of sentences. I tend to put specific ideas on the first because that's the main point., so i need to maintain the order, general, less general, and specific. If i would do it perfectly, readers would be satisfied the ideas of my research paper. Thirdly, I have to pay attention to the choices of words. In my introduction, I used some strange words because I considerably depended on the dictionary. As a result, there were many words that is too formal or too informal. So I want to choose the best words that are proper to my body paragraph.
AW-Saki
10/28/2013 05:24:49 pm
I wrote many needless sentences in my inroduction. I had too many obvious informations, so I have to get much deeper informations. And I have to tell informations in detail. When I start my body paragraph#1, I have to prepare some interestng informaions to attract many readers. Of course, I also have to pay attention to grammer. I did many grammer mistakes in my introduction. I have to check my witing before I submit. Persuasiveness of my research paper will be lost by grammer mistakes. To tell my opinion efficiently, I have to use ineresting informations and correct grammer.
AW-Moe
10/28/2013 10:22:40 pm
In my introduction, I wrote the information that is not related to my topic, and I also wrote wrong information either, so I have to rewrite this. Moreover, I wrote specific information which is for my body paragraph#2, so I have to use this in there and I also have to add more general information about my three subtopics and bilingualism in the world to my introduction. When I write my body paragraph#1, there are three points to pay attention. First one is grammar, and second is organizing my ideas from general to less general to specific in my body paragraph#1. The third one is my subtopic has to have two opinions and each supporting idea has to have three details. I think they are a little difficult but I will try to do them.
AW-Hitomi
10/29/2013 12:01:52 am
First of all, I have to keep in mind the homework deadline. I promise that I will never miss it again. Then, I need pay attention to grammar, writing specific things, and the order of information. When I make grammatical mistakes in my paper, it is hard to read and to understand. I think making no mistake is the most important thing. And, I tend to write general things, so I will try to make more specific as good research paper. At that time, I also want to try to make the order of information from general one to specific one. It was difficult for me to do the activity that we did in the class, to tell information. I have to do my best on this point. I will pay attention to these three points.
AW-Sae
10/29/2013 11:24:30 am
In my introduction, I thought that there are three points to pay attention. First, I had a lot of grammar mistakes. It is difficult to write the perfect grammar but I try to reduce my grammar mistakes. Next, do not repeat the same information. Since I wrote the same things again and again, my intrduction was not specific. So I do not repeat and write more specific information. Finally, since I learned that I have to pay attention to the different forms of "apology",I have a good command of "apology." These three points are difficult but I will try hard to write my report.
AW-Rina.T
10/29/2013 12:19:15 pm
In my introduction, I wrote useless sentences. When I write body paragraph#1,I have to pay attention to write concisely. And also, I reapeated the same information, and write wrong information. Information is important for reserch paper. So, I have to write concise and right information in my body paragraph#1. Moreover, I have a lot of grammar mistakes, especially plural. I think grammar mistakes are easy to correct than any other mistakes. I have to look over the paper again carefully. I try to write better one.
AW-Moena
10/29/2013 12:44:05 pm
In my introduction, I made many mistakes of grammar. So, first of all, I have to pay more attention to grammar. Especially, when I use preposition, I have to think it over well. Secondly, I need to pay attention to sentences. In my introduction, I wrote many needles long sentences. When I write body paragraph#1, I want to write sentences which are more simple and easy to understand for readers. Finally, I need to pay attention to quantity of information. My sub-topics are related to each other, so I think that it is important to think about quantity of information.
AW-Naoki
10/29/2013 03:42:54 pm
I should pay attention to sentences, especially. I wrote lots of useless words or phrases in my introduction, so I need to make it more simple and clearly for readers to understand with ease. In addition, I also have a few problems with grammar, so I have to check them and use collect grammar. Moreover, I need to understand rules of research paper. For example, we can't use "I" but can use "we", and we shouldn't ask questions and answer them. I'm going to pay attention to those things when I write my introduction, and write a better one next time.
AW-Utako
10/29/2013 05:56:47 pm
In my introduction, there are some needles sentences. The same contents are repeated. At the same time, my introduction has some needless words. Furtheremore, my introduction is too short to attract readers. When I write body paragraphs, I want to pay attention to this point best. I need to gather much more knowledge, information, or data for my research paper. I could realize how I should construct body paragraphs by doing this week's homework. Also, I want to be careful of grammer or spelling mistakes when I write body paragraphs.
AW-Shuhei
10/29/2013 06:22:08 pm
I miss many things in introduction.Certainly I used incorrect grammar.But I should pay attention to
AW-Ayana
10/29/2013 06:30:10 pm
In my introduction, there are three points to pay attention. The first point is correct grammar. It is how I ensure that I’m understood properly, and it is also the most effective way to express any thoughts and concepts that I want to share. The second point is analysis and explanation. For example, what is the significance of the quote? How does it support your thesis? Making clear is very important. The third point is choosing the right word, It ensures the correct tone and emphasis. I think these are very difficult but I will try to do them.
AW-Shota
10/29/2013 06:53:50 pm
Since I was not able to last weeks class, I do not have my introduction correction with me. Yet, I think I made the introduction in an incorrect order of funnel organization. Focusing on the non verabl parts of communication, I tried to list down only three topics but turned out I wrote down four. I will have to make the topics more simle and make the details more specific.
AW-Riki
10/30/2013 02:02:19 am
In my body paragraph #1 I made a error. I was trying to talk about themes but instead I talked about the influences. I have to change the supporting ideas to themes. The themes in America has more variety. I have to use correct grammar.I also need to focus more on themes. I think I did good on the structure. I will have to focus on the differences more. I also need to tell the reader how the content of the music is different. Leave a Reply. |
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