AW Fall 2013: Lesson 11
Just one more week, and you'll be finished your research paper. You must be relieved!!
Peer Editing Discussions:
In the first part of our lesson, you discussed your peer editing activities with your partner. When you edit/revise your conclusion, you can use your partner's comments. Also, check corrections I've made in your research paper. You may have made the same errors in your conclusion.
For our lesson next week, I'll talk to the remaining students about your drafts. Make sure you prepare your questions because I'll only have about 5 minutes to talk with you.
Computer Room for Dec. 11:
For our conferences, we'll be in the computer room 218, so remember to bring a USB and your Aogaku ID card to access the computers.
For your final draft, you have to:
* submit it by December 19 by 11:00am by email
* submit a copy in class on December 19
Blog Question #9:
What advice did your partner give you about your writing in your peer editing discussions?
*Write 10-12 sentences.
*Use capitalization, punctuation & spelling correctly.
*Submit by Wednesday, December 12 by 6:00pm.
12/8/2013 12:30:12 pm
My partner gave me some advice not only about conclusion paragraph, but also entire draft. I didn’t think I could receive some advice about entire RP, so I was happy. My partner gave me some piece of very important information. I completely forgot to write re-thesis statement! I paid much attention to summarizing body paragraph, so I forgot to write it. Another advice he gave me was about irrelevant sentences. There were some sentences that I need not to write in conclusion paragraph. In addition, structures of some sentences were a little bit unnatural. I think I tried to avoid using same sentences and structures. This is why I made such mistakes. My partner gave me great advice, so I’ll put it to good use in my conclusion paragraph.
12/8/2013 09:28:52 pm
My partner gave me some advises. My conclusion paragraph has many gramar mistakes. I also made same mistake in my research paper, so I have to pay attenntion more carefully. I have to add "s" to the end of the words when I use verbs with third person singular. Moreover, I have to make my body paragraph's summary more clearly. The number of words is not enough, too. This is why, I should write more detail in conclusion. Furthermore, my final thought is no so interesting. It is important to write the most interesting sentence in coclusion, so I will think the sentence more deeply. Finally, I will make conclusion paragraph more logically to make my research paper aproaching perfect.
12/9/2013 10:35:42 am
My partner gave me some good advises. The first one is that In my reserch paper, I used the same words for many times. Therefore she taught me to change the same words into synonymous words. When I wrote my conclusion, I forgot this, so it was really helpful. The second one is that my conclusion paragraph was little bit long. After she gave me this advise, I checked my conclusion and counted how many words I wrote in it. Then there was too much number of words. In addition, I was able to realize that my summaries of each body paragraphs were too long. The third one is grammar mistakes. She found some mistakes that I didn't notice when I wrote my conclusion. Based on these accurate advises, I will be able to correct my conclusion paragraph efficiently.
12/9/2013 09:03:11 pm
My partner gave me some advices. At first, I considered to write my final thought carefully, then I forgot to write summaries of body paragraph #1 and #2. Moreover, there were some irrelevant sentences in my conclusion. Therefore, I will try to include summaries of body paragraph #1 and #2, remove all irrelevant sentences and write more about Japan and the U.S. Furthermore, my partner gave me the most important advice. In my conclusion, there was some inconsistent sentences. It was a big problem so I rewrote soon. My partner gave me advices clearly, so I understood easily. Although peer editing was hard, it was so useful to learn and improve my English ability.
12/9/2013 11:28:34 pm
My partner gave me some good advice. At first, I made some grammar mistakes. Especially, I used verbs which are not correct for the context. Secondly, my conclusion has an irrelevant sentence. Maybe I could not notice this mistake if there was not peer editing task. In addition, my partner gave me some useful comments for editing my conclusion more. These comments are very helpful when I edited my conclusion. It is because his comments are appropriate advice for my mistakes. He gave me advices clearly and concretely. I think it helps to edit my research paper better one by being based on peer editing.
12/10/2013 11:45:48 am
My partner gave me advice about tense. I didn't notice that I made tense mistake, so his advice was helpfull for me. He also gave me advice about an article. I didn't have self-confident about my grammar. In addition, he corrected on not only my conclusion but also on other parts. His corrections are approproate. I'm thankful to him!!
12/10/2013 12:55:33 pm
I did not have my partner in that class and I was not gicen any advices from him, so I am going to write my advices to him. I think his conclusion did not have enough information of BP#1. In his BP#1, he wrote about Engilish pronunciation, but he wrote about not it but another thing, so I think he should rewrite this part. Moreover, he also had some grammar mistakes. They are not serious problem to read, but it made sentences more difficult to understand, so I think if this point will be solved, his research paper become much better. After this work, I really want to hear his advices for me, so I hope he will come to the class.
12/10/2013 01:06:39 pm
My partner gave me advice that I had some unnatural English sentences. Also, she said to me that I should write contents more clearly. She said she read my paper many times to understand. I sould have written easyｰunderstanding one. It tends to be difficult to say bad points about others' paper, but she pointed out what I should change without hesitation. That was really useful for me. My partner could understand my research paper and gave me advice, and so did I. I don't think that is easy, however, we did well. Until doing this task, I had had few opportunities to get advice from classmate. So now I have done it and I can say that task is valuable to develop my paper.
12/10/2013 01:26:07 pm
I was advised to focus on the main themes on my final thought. I think the advice was right. It was an irrelevant one, so it needs to be sophisticated. Also the verb tense was not right ones. Most of them are present tense but some should be past tense. I came to know that dead person’s utterance needs to be always past tense. Therefore I need to correct John Lennon and George Harrison’s comments. I was glad that my partner did a good job. Edition and revision are appropriate. My research paper will be better through other’s opinion.
12/10/2013 03:31:52 pm
My partner, Kyosuke, gave me some grammatical advice. He said I used the same expressions such as "During~" again and again, so I should find synonyms for those words. This is definitely true and I used the same words and expressions without using synonyms. In addition, he gave some examples of synonyms for certain words, so I'm going to review my whole research paper with reference to his examples. As for structures and contexts, he said he thought they were very good. Especially he praised summaries of body paragraphs and my final thought, so I felt relieved.
12/10/2013 03:56:30 pm
My partner gave me some advice and good comments. These was very important for me to be sensitive in write. I completely forgot to write re-thesis statement and summaries of each body paragraph. Another advice was about not have use “I”. I think this is the fundamental part problem. So I have to try not to make a mistake with my paragraphs.
12/10/2013 04:25:13 pm
My partner gave me some advices. They are very helpful to improve my conclusion. Firstly, I forgot to write a summary of body paragraph#2, and I made some grammar mistakes. Moreover, I made some sentences complicated. I could change them easier to underatand. Secondly, I should connect some sentences. It was a little short, so it can be connected with the other sentence. I could not notice my mistakes without my partner's advices. I want to rewrite my research paper better based on these advices.
12/10/2013 04:53:00 pm
my partner gave me good advice. At first, I made mistake about grammar. I chiefly should be careful about Plural. I often overlook mistake about plural. Secondly, my conclusion was lacking thesis restatement. I couldn't rephrase my research paper 's thesis well. Third, content of final thought is a little shallow. I should reconsider final thought to deepen content. My partner give me really good advice. I can make research paper better by grace of my partner.
12/10/2013 04:59:19 pm
I haven't finished telling my partner about what to advice. Yet, her report was in good order and there were not many to change. On the contrast, I will have to change a lot of my paragraphs. Some of them could have been said in a more correct grammar. Also, there should have been more sentences to explain. My details need to be more sepecific. The examples given is a bit too weak too. So, in the class tomorrow I will change things a lot in my paper. It might be better to bring a dictionary. The task will be difficult but I will do my best. Furthermore, I hope my advice will be helpful.
Leave a Reply.