IE3 Writing: Lesson 6

11/4/2015

Hi everyone,

Can you believe it? We have now finished the first draft for our classification essay. The most difficult part of our course in now over.

Concluding Paragraph:
In today's lesson, we looked at the different parts of a concluding paragraph: thesis restatement, body paragraph summaries and a final thought. The most important sentence will be your final thought; you want to leave the reader with a strong impression so that he/she remembers your essay. For your final thought, you can use the following types of sentences:
a. prediction
b. recommendation
c. rhetorical question
d. quotation

Homework:

Complete your Concluding Paragraph
Email your entire 1st draft by Monday, November 9 by 12:00 noon to ntakeda.aogaku@yahoo.com
Upload your first draft to the Aogaku database.
Complete the Conference Preparation worksheet
Print out two copies of your first draft.
Complete the Checklist for our next lesson.
Blog Post #5

Blog Question #5:

How do you feel after writing your first essay? What were some difficulties you had with your essay?
Was my feedback useful on your drafts? Give examples.

Write 10-12 sentences.
Use capitalization, punctuation & spelling correctly.
Submit by Tuesday, November 10 by 6:00pm

16 Comments

IE3W-Takumi

11/6/2015 05:11:34 pm

After writing my first essay, I felt a sense of acommplishment. This is because I've never written an essay in accordance with the strict rules. It was really hard for me, but at the same time I think it is important skills for me.
Also, it was challenging for me to make intext-citation and bibliography correctly. It took much time to learn how to write them. The feedback you gave me was very useful to write better essay. For example, the sentences which you revised for me made my essay easier to read. Sometimes I couldn't write what I want to say perfectly, so I did appreciate your feedback. In addition, the feedback on how to make citations and billiography was really instructive because, as I said above, I'm not good at that. I think I aqcuired better writing skills than before.

IE3W-Sae

11/8/2015 08:06:00 am

After wrting my first essay, I actually feel relieved that I was always able to submit my paragraphs on time. Also, I feel little confident and less nervous about wrting essays than before. For me, writing this essay was not that difficult. It is because every week, you taught me new skills which was easy-to-follow, and you also gave me clear instructions. In addition, I was able to find great sources which made writing this essay a lot easier. However, choosing a topic was really difficult for me. I had no idea what classification essay was like before I started writing, so I took so much time to understand what principle was.

Yes, your feedback was very useful on my drafts. Without your feedback, my drafts would have been full of grammer mistakes. Also, I often wrote too long, but you helped me to make my paragraphs shorter. For example, I tended to write too general information, but now, I understand they were unnecessary. Because of that, my essay is more focused on a principle now.

IE3W-Ryoma

11/8/2015 03:30:38 pm

After writing my first essays, I feel pretty confident about what I did. I sent all the paragraphs on time and I always revised my essay as soon as possible so I didn't feel very difficult to write my first draft immediately. Also, I felt my English skills are improving as I write a lot of paragraphs. The difficulties that I had when I am writing was the quote. I had never wrote a quote when I am writing my essays. However, when I learned to write my quotes it got easier and easier and finally,I got used to it. I think it was a good opportunity to learn how to quote.

The feedback that our teacher gave us was very helpful in order to write my essays. I think we cannot find our mistakes by ourselves, so it is indispensable to be seen by other person. For example, the grammar mistakes. We cannot find the mistakes because we think the things that we wrote is correct. Also, intext citation is hard to look for. First, I did not know how to cite things since I was absent, but by reading the feedbacks, I learned how to cite things.

IE3W-Kana

11/8/2015 05:40:14 pm

I had many difficulties with my essay. Using citation and bibliography correctly is very difficult for me. I learned for the first time how to use citation and bibliography, so it took much time to understand them. I feel that to finish writing my first essay is not so difficult than usual thanks to the outline. However I have no confidence whether I can use quotes properly or not yet.

Your feedback is absolutely useful on my drafts. For example, I can know what is wrong about grammar, subject and vocabulary. It is very helpful because I can't find them by myself. Also, I usually tend to write too general things, but I prevent to write them this time. Moreover, I can use examples equally in each paragraph. Without your feedback, I can't revise unbalanced paragraphs.

IE3W-Saki U.

11/8/2015 09:12:11 pm

After writing my first draft, I still worried about whether readers could understand my essay. Since I'm not good at writing and often make mistakes in grammar, writing this essay was really difficult for me. However, I think my essay would be much better than before through re-writing. Also, I could turned it in on time every time. I don't know whether my writing skills improved or not, I could manage to finish writing my essay. I learned a lot from you.

Your feedback was really useful. Without your feedback, I wouldn't have completed my drafts, so I really appreciate you. I think it's a good idea to change pens' colors depending on kinds of mistakes when you correct our mistakes. It was easy to understand and I could follow your instractions.

IE3W-Hideaki

11/9/2015 12:37:35 am

After finishing my essay, I'm very proud of me. Because I did my best every week in each essays. It took quite a long time to finish each essay, so I am very happy finishing it now.There are two things that I thought difficult. Firstly, putting citation. I have never learned and put citation. There are a lot of rules when we put citation, so I took a long time to comprehend all manners. Secondly, I had in trouble when I was considering about funeral structure. General to specific, it is not easy for me to be conscious toward it. I used wrote essays the way I thought good.

Nicole's advice helped me a lots. For example, you corrected my awkward English sentences. Expressing what I want to in English is very difficult. Because there are lots of difference between English and Japanese in expression. Therefore, the places you corrected for me helped me to write natural English. Also,it was helpful to me that you notified me logical and grammatical errors and so on. After I finish writing, I got an illusion that my essay does not have any problem. So, getting professional third person voice helped me to make essay better.

IE3W-Ryosuke

11/9/2015 04:24:26 am

I have a feeling of achievement at writing my first essay. Since I had not been taught how to write essay minutely in IE Ⅱ Writing, I had a lot of difficulties with my essay. For example, using outside information in my essay was very difficult for me. I had to search information, especially quotes from experts that are not only related to the theme or topic of my essay to some extent, but also to the point on my topic. Moreover, having chosen the complicated and delicate topic, politics made it much harder.
Your feedback was useful on my drafts. In fact, it was the first time for me to have essay that were corrected. My style tended to be tedious, and my writing was apt to be too long, that is, go over the limitation on number of words. So, your correcting and giving advice on the composition made my essay better, namely, more elavorate. Therefore, your feedback really helped me to think about or rewrite my essay.

Momona

11/9/2015 07:03:52 am

I am so happy with finishing my first draft. I suppose my topic, religion, was too broad. That is why I had difficulties that how I was going to connect three body paragraphs and how i was going to organise whole essay. I added society and culture with religion but that was still wide topic. I should have came up with more specific idea with religion. For example, symbol and religion, or just about the Christianity.

Your feedback was necessary for sure. You gave me a lot of ideas to organize an essay. It is important to know what is good or not. Besides, I had many mistakes of grammers which I could not notice by myself but you told me. Thankyou.

IE3W-Yu

11/9/2015 07:48:03 am

After writing my first essay, I'm satisfied with what I did for writing good essay. I always had difficulty finishing my essay. This is because I often made mistakes. Especially, it was very difficult for me to write bibliography. I did not understand much about the information's right order. But you corrected my essay repeatedly, I understand it better than before. Now I don't still have much confidence about my essay, but I learned a lot from your class.

Your feedback was very helpful. Your feedback made my essay much better. I often made grammar mistakes. Whenever I made grammar mistakes, you pointed out them. So, soon I noticed the mistakes and Improved my essay. Because of your help, I managed to finish my essay.

Nanako

11/9/2015 07:21:53 pm

I had many difficulties when I wrote an essay. First, I couldn't make it in good order. I lost what I wanted to say exactly and it became complexed. The more I tried to make it easy to understand, the more I could not figured out what I should say to readers to make it understandable and believable. And another one was to find a quote suits to my essay. There were so many articles and experts' opinions but I had a difficulty with finding out the good one. While I was searching for and reading some quotes, I often lost what I wanted to say. These two were the main difficulties that I had in writing my essay.
However, he feedbacks you gave me were so helpful that I could understand the good way to write an undershtandable essay. You told me how to put the commas or capital letters or how to organize my essay. When I read my essay after finishing all processes, I felt happy because I've never written any understandable essay like that before. So I think I could have not finished my essay without your feedbacks.

IE3W-Shoko

11/10/2015 12:02:35 am

After submitting my essay, I feel satisfied with what I had done in these 2 months. As I had never been taught how I should write essays, it was a really hard time. I had difficulties in using citations. I couldn't understand first what citation is and spent much time solving the problem. In the Reading class today, the teacher told us to make presentations within citations. It seems that this was an essential skill for me whenever I write English.
Your feedbacks were absolutely helpful. Without your feedbacks and comments, I cannot have finished writing the essay. It was a measure to know what was good and bad. I really thank you.

IE3W-Yume

11/10/2015 12:31:42 am

After I finished my first essay, I thought that I could have written it better. I was late to start it and couldn't take enough time to revise it. I'll try to write my second essay with a lot of thinking. I have never wrote intext citation and quote in English essay, so it was so hard for me. Also, it was hard to find statistics and expert opinion about my topic. I wrote about personalities of three Disney characters, so there was few academic or official statistics and statement.
I think it is important to choose good topic which I can find believable statistics and statement to quote.

Your feedbacks were so helpful. Because of your help, I could notice what is not enough in my essay. Also, you give me specific corrections about grammar mistakes, plot, and so on. They were easy to understand. Thank you.

IE3W-Kanta

11/10/2015 12:37:59 am

I felt satisfied after finishing my essay. Writing about a topic you're interrested in was interesting for me. I enjoyed it a lot. Writing the introduction and conclusion was difficult. It was hard to think up of a sentence that would catch the readers attention.
The comments and advices were very helpful. I realized what I had to fix, and made my essay better. I'd like to use it for my next essay too.

11/10/2015 12:38:15 am

William

11/10/2015 12:41:07 am

I've never wrote thin kind of essay before. The essay I wrote in the first half year was a free essay, so I had a hard time writing my first essay. The first essay suppose to be easy, but coming up withe a theme was very hard for me. I had no idea what to write first. After coming up with a theme, I still had difficulties. I culdn't come up with a good thesis and sub plots. Some times I was out of ideas. I didn't know what to write halfway.
The feedback was very helpful. Many of my ideas had to be changed, but it was really easy to rewrite them reading the feedback. Without the feedback, I couldn't complete my essay.

IE3W-Mizuki

11/10/2015 12:58:58 am

After writing my essay, I could get a sense of achievement. I wrote about Thai housing first but I changed my topic to the types of street dances. It was so hard to complete a new essay on time. However it was easier to write it than to write last one. I learned this time that I had to check some sources of information before I started to write it and make sure to write it consistent. If I could do so earlier, I made it better.
Ms.Nicole's feedback always help me. For instance, you often tell me that I have to think more about my topic. Thanks to you, I noticed that I should have changed my topic and write new one consistent. I have some regrets about my essay, but I fully enjoyed to write it.

IE3 Writing: Lesson 6

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